Maybe I’m Just a New York Girl After All

Considering Moving Back

I just got back to LA, sun-drunk and a little confused, after a trip to New York for my best friend’s 30th. She threw the kind of party that makes you forget that you’re getting older — at the Twenty Two Club, which is technically from London but now exists in NYC. It’s also a hotel.

Most of the trip, I stayed uptown — which is new for me. I crashed at my friend’s parents’ apartment on the Upper East Side (I’m not above living out a Gossip Girl fantasy) and spent most days crossing the park to visit another friend on the Upper West Side. I think I went downtown once, maybe twice. And only because someone insisted.

Every day, I found myself back at Zitomer’s. I bought things I definitely didn’t need — house slippers, a backup makeup bag, enough headbands to costume-change through an entire season of Gossip Girl. It felt like something between nesting and self-soothing.

This was the first time I’ve considered moving back. Not in a “Fuck LA” way. Just… in that slow, creeping way that starts when you find yourself opening Zillow tabs at midnight and saying things like, “Well, technically, it wouldn’t be that crazy.”

I moved to LA because I needed the quiet. Or thought I did. Because New York was too much, too loud, too everything. Because I was burnt out and tired of pretending I loved the chaos. And LA gave me space. A house. A yard. A moment. I’m grateful for it, I really am.

But this time in New York — being uptown, walking aimlessly, hearing the hush of the park instead of the soundtrack of sirens — I didn’t feel overwhelmed. I didn’t feel like I had to perform some version of myself. I started wondering: was I ever really tired of New York, or just tired of who I was trying to be in it?

Uptown feels different. Softer. Family dogs and baby carriages and places that still put tablecloths down at lunch. A little smug, yes. But also: calm. Several of my closest friends live there now. There are restaurants with four things on the menu. You can find parking. It’s not trying to impress you.

Would I sell the house in LA? Rent it out? Sublet an apartment near the reservoir and play both sides for a while? I don’t know. I’m giving myself a year to figure it out.

Anyway — that’s where I’m at. Somewhere between cities. Between selves. With too many headbands and not quite enough clarity. But it’s a start.

Also — is it just me, or does coming home after a trip make you suddenly notice every little thing that needs fixing? I walked into my kitchen and immediately fixated on how much of an eyesore my hand and dish soap dispensers are.

Here’s what I’ve recently bought (and what’s on my current wishlist):

1. Zara Home Glass Soap Dispensers
I picked up these glass hand and dish soap dispensers from Zara Home to replace the plastic bottles in my kitchen. I’m still using my favorite Homecourt Neroli-scented soaps, just decanted into something that looks a lot more elevated.

2. Zara Home Dish Drying Mat – $13
This is my first time shopping at Zara Home, and I was surprised at how many cute, affordable pieces they have. I bought this simple drying mat — practical, but it still looks nice sitting on the counter.

3. Flamingo Estate Candle Obsession
I’ve become a little bit addicted to Flamingo Estate candles ever since my friend Sophie Cohen gifted me one for my housewarming. I now have six different scents! Next on my wishlist: their jalapeño candle — I’m very intrigued.

4. Extra Guest Sheets – Marcella by Matouk
With more friends coming to stay over lately, I’ve realized how helpful it is to have an extra set of guest sheets. I’m planning to order the Marcella set by Matouk, which Emily Eerdmans just recommended in her Friends & Finds interview.

5. My Dream Sheets – D. Porthault Pink Hearts
I’ve been saving up for an extra set of my dream sheets — the iconic pink hearts from D. Porthault — for my own bedroom. Finally placing the order soon and couldn’t be more excited.

6. Cherry Blossom Table Setting
Since my dining room wallpaper features cherry blossoms, I’m ordering a matching cherry blossom tablecloth and placemats to tie everything together. It feels like such a sweet way to extend the theme and make meals feel special.

7. Ceramic Pumpkins
I bought this pumpkin a few weeks ago (plus this one) and I’m obsessed. They remind me of Kate Malone’s ceramics. Only $10 and perfect for fall.

Kate Malone